My First Wedding

Hi Guys,

I did my first wedding last Saturday--weird to think that I have the power to do those kinds of things...

Anyway, it was fun.  The groom was raised in a local, very conservative baptist church, and the bride was raise without a faith tradition, and they were married in a Methodist church by a young, female pastor.  That whole scenario just makes me smile.  Anyway, here is the service order.

Also, seminary should include learning to fill out marriage licenses. 

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A SERVICE OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

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THE GATHERING OF THE COMMUNITY

Prelude   

Processional

          Please stand            

Greeting

Friends, we are gathered together in the sight of God to witness and to bless the joining together of Ashley and Derek in Christian marriage. The bond and union of marriage is a covenant gift to us from God.  In celebration of this covenant, Jesus graced a wedding at Cana of Galilee with his presence and power.  In affirmation of this power, the Apostle Paul announced that where Christ is present, there is surely equality as well as unity.  In Christ’s presence, Ashley and Derek are here to be joined in marriage.

Please join me in prayer.

Invocation

      God of all peoples, we rejoice in your love known in the midst of our lives.  

You are the true light illumining everyone.

You show us the way, the truth, and the life.

You love us even when we are unfaithful;

you sustain us with your Holy Spirit.

We praise you for your presence with us in all circumstances,

and especially in these moments of the act of solemn covenant.  

O God, we pray that Derek and Ashley

and all who are gathered here

will grow in their understanding and experience of your guiding love.  

Amen.

Please be seated.

   

Covenantal Questions and Declaration of Intent  

          Ashley and Derek, marriage is a holy covenant between two persons who love each other. Your marriage is one of the most sacred and treasured parts of your lives. It is a celebration of all the mystery and the wonder that deep love brings to living.  

     
I know you have given thoughtful and prayerful consideration to this marriage covenant, and I invite you now, in the presence of God and before your friends and family, to declare your intention to enter into this sacred relationship.

Minister to Bride: facing minister

Ashley, will you have this man to be your husband;

to live together in the covenant of marriage?  

Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him,

in sickness and in health;

and forsaking all others,

be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

If so, please respond with, “I will”. (I will!)

Minister to Groom:  facing minister

Derek, will you have this woman to be your wife;

to live together in the covenant of marriage?  

Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her,

in sickness and in health;

and forsaking all others,

be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

If so, please respond with, “I will”. (I will!)

Parent’s Blessing (If Ashley and Derek’s parents would please stand…)

As Ashley and Derek’s parents you have given them so many gifts.  Gifts of life, of love, of values, and vision.  They treasure these gifts and their relationships with you.  Indeed, today, they cherish your blessing for their marriage.

Will you, with joy and love,

give your blessing to this union?

If so, please respond with, “We will”.  (We will!)

You may be seated.

Congregation’s Vow

We recognize that this congregation of family and friends also have vows to make.  You have been invited by Ashley and Derek to witness their important commitment, and to rejoice with them.  Your presence here today involves you with their future, and they ask for your blessing.

Will all of you, by God’s grace, do everything in your power to uphold and care for these two persons in their marriage?  If so, please respond, “We will.”  (We will!)

THE MINISTRY OF THE WORD

Scripture

Ruth 1:16-17  Hear the Word of the Lord

 But Ruth said,

“Do not press me to leave you
    or to turn back from following you!
Where you go, I will go;
    where you lodge, I will lodge;
your people shall be my people,
    and your God my God.
Where you die, I will die—
    there will I be buried.
May the Lord do thus and so to me,
    and more as well,
if even death parts me from you!”

This is the Word of God for the people of God.  Thanks be to God.

Homily

When Ashley and Derek told me they’d picked a passage from Ruth I double checked to make sure that’s what they wanted, because this passage is actually sort of strange for a wedding.  Ruth’s words of undying devotion are beautiful, but they aren’t words of romantic love.  Instead Ruth addresses this promise, her statement of fidelity against all odds, to her mother-in-law, Naomi.  Now, I’m sure your mothers-in-law are wonderful, but that’s a little unusual at a wedding, right?

For those of you who may not be familiar with Ruth’s story, I’ll give you a brief summary.  It begins with Naomi and her family moving from Israel to a foreign land.  While in this foreign land, Naomi’s sons marry foreign women, among them, Ruth.  Tragedy strikes and Naomi’s husband and sons die, leaving the women destitute, without protection or provision.  Naomi tells her daughters-in-law, young women with futures ahead of them, to return to their families.  Return to the people who can provide for you, who can make sure you are safe and cared for, return to your familiar gods and your familiar ways of life.  One daughter-in-law sees the sense in this, and returns to her family.  Ruth refuses, and her refusal is what we read a moment ago.

Ruth’s refusal is beyond crazy.  In a time when women could not support themselves, her choice to remain with a destitute woman too old to provide another son for Ruth to marry, a woman who cannot provide protection is bananas—when Ruth says, “Where you die, I will die,” that isn’t just a pretty statement, it’s a likelihood.  But Ruth makes this crazy promise anyway, not knowing what the future will hold.  She steps out in faith, and her faithfulness is blessed. 

Ruth follows Naomi back to Israel, and does end up marrying again.  She becomes the great-grandmother of David, of David and Goliath fame, of uniting the kingdom of Israel fame, the David viewed as the greatest king Israel has ever had.  None of this would have happened if Ruth had given up when giving up seemed like the only reasonable thing to do.  Instead, God uses Ruth’s faithfulness to bless an entire nation.

 And that is the part of the story that speaks to what we’re doing today.  This kind of blessing is what God desires for all of our relationships.  God desires to use our faithfulness, not only to God, but to one another, to bless the people around us.  To bless our family and friends.  Derek and Ashley, it would be easy to make the vow you take today to become only about your marriage.  But God desires to make it more than that. 

Your presence here today with family and friends, people who have shared in your formation and whose lives you have helped shape, testifies to your desire for the same.  You make this promise here today to signify that though it is Ashley and Derek at the center, your marriage also includes the other people who share your lives.  You and they do not exist in a vacuum, and all of our promises today affirm that all of us working together in faith are what will make this marriage successful.

The vows you make today are only the beginning of the life you will share together.  They are the first step in learning to be faithful.  They are the first step in learning what it means to be intimately accountable to and for another person over the course of many years.

Faithfulness is hard, it doesn’t come without practice, and there will be days when you both will fail in large and small ways.  Those will be the days when you wonder why you stood here today and made this crazy promise.  Those will be the days when the people in this room will support you, remind you, and hold you accountable. 

Of course there will also be days, we hope many more days, when life is good and right and abundant, and the love that you have for one another spills from the bounds of your hearts and into the world.  And faithfulness will seem easy on those days, but it will be easy because you’ve practiced it on the hard days.  You’ve worked hard and communicated through hurts.  You’ve continued to build trust and your friendship with one another.  You’ve put your own wants aside and compromised.  You’ve taken care of and nurtured one another.

The good news is that God blesses the easy days and the days with struggles.  And as with Ruth, God will bless your faithfulness, and will use your faithfulness to bless your friends and family in ways you can’t even imagine.  But the best news of all is that God will be with you, giving strength and guidance, while you work to keep the promise you make here today, even when that promise seems like the craziest thing you’ve ever done.

THE COVENANT OF MARRIAGE

And now we come to the moment of making that promise, of taking vows.

To this moment, Ashley and Derek, you bring the fullness of your hearts as a treasure to share with one another.  You bring your dreams which bind you together; you bring the uniqueness of that particular personality and spirit which is your own, and out of which grow the reality of your lifetime together.  Having experienced the unique joy that accompanies your love for one another, and believing in the fulfillment of a lifetime together, I invite you to share your marriage vows with one another.

Covenant Vow, Groom     

Derek, repeat after me:

In the name of God, I Derek take you Ashley,

to be my wife.

To have and to hold from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

until we are parted by death.  

This is my solemn vow.

       

Covenant Vow, Bride    

Ashley, repeat after me:

In the name of God, I Ashley take you Derek,

to be my husband.

To have and to hold from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

until we are parted by death.  

This is my solemn vow.

Giving of the Rings

Minister receives rings from:  ______Jared and Carissa______

       Derek and Ashley bring the ring as a symbol of the sacred covenant they share

The exchange of these rings marks the beginning of a life journey together, filled with wonder, surprise, laughter, tears, celebration, grief and joy.  May these rings always be an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.  

Bless, O Lord, the giving and receiving of these rings that they who wear them may live in your mercy all the days of their lives, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Ring Vows (Couple turn to one another, holding hands)

Ashley, repeat after me

Derek, I give you this ring

as a sign of my vow,

and with all that I am,

and all that I have,

I honor you.  

In the name of the Father,   

and of the Son,

and of  the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Derek, repeat after me:

Ashley, I give you this ring

as a sign of my vow,

and with all that I am,

and all that I have,

I honor you.  

In the name of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of  the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Pastor’s Blessing

You have declared your consent and vows before God and this congregation.  May God confirm your covenant and fill you both with grace.

Declaration of Marriage

Now that Derek and Ashley have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands, and the giving and receiving of rings, I announce to you that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.  

And now, you may share in your first kiss as husband and wife.

Ceremony of “Tying the Knot” and special music

Today, as a sign of the joining of their lives, Ashley and Derek will tie a Fisherman’s Knot.  This knot is one of the strongest known knots, for under pressure it draws each cord closer, becoming stronger and stronger. 

Each cord represents the uniqueness of the lives joined here today.  The tying of the knot symbolizes the uniting of these unique lives into one purpose.  The knot itself signifies the future they are creating together.

Derek and Ashley, having been joined to one another by God in an inseparable bond, tie this knot, which represents the coming together of your past and present into your future, as a reminder of strength: the strength needed for your life together; the strength provided by your relationship with each other and with God; and the strength and support of those gathered with you today.  May the strength of its bond encourage the strength of your bond.

***cue music with a nod

Giving of the Roses to Mothers

Blessing & Benediction

God the eternal keep you in love with one another, so that the peace of Christ may abide in your home.  Go forth to serve God and your neighbor in all that you do.  Bear witness to the love of God in this world so that those to whom love is a stranger will find in you generous friends.

And now, it is my pleasure to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs.

Recessional

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